Tuesday, September 8, 2009
There's a chill in the air and an uneasy feeling that comes with the first day of school--even for me as a parent. It stems from having a child in their senior year of High School. I understand well what is ahead. We have already begun looking at colleges. Last year we went to an open house at a college & I came home to shed private tears to think of my "baby" living away from home in a 2 x 4 room. As of now, we have visited 9 colleges--some were okay, some I hated, and I can't help feeling that I hate them only because I hate to let her go. And I thought my husband was having the problem with separation anxiety! Of course, I voice none of this to my daughter--she's anxious enough in an excited sort of way, ready to move on to meet life's challenges.
My heart breaks to think there are so many "lasts". The last chorus performances, the last rounds of meet the teacher nights and conferences. The last year we will send her off to catch the school bus, rising early to see her off for the first day. Her Dad with the video camera when she gets home recording all her excitement & impressions. He has done this every year since kindergarten, although in the younger grades it was before she left for school & now it is after she gets home. As she got older she got more excited to do this, then impatient, then downright angry to "have" to "submit" to the same questions year after year, and now has come full circle back to loving it.
I'm taking a deep breath now and cherishing every moment...and perhaps even looking forward to the next round of "firsts"!